Table of Contents Dear Reader Letter Introduction to She Felt She Had to Say Goodbye She Felt She Had to Say Goodbye Introduction to Never Alone Never Alone Introduction to My Blissful Morning Escape My Blissful Morning Escape Introduction to Earnest and Petunia Petunia And Earnest

Dear Reader Letter

Dear Reader,

It's amazing how life can change in an instant. How all of a sudden the boat of life can suddenly rock violently back and forth. Surviving this quarter would be a miracle in itself. Even having passing grades! As I look back on this quarter, and English 97 was actually a great experience. All the invincibility I thought I had became nothing. After having the flu, working at a real job, and having to move out on my own makes the false quality of myself exposed. This quarter and English 97 showed me that I can not give up, even when life tries to throw mud pies at you.

At the beginning of this quarter, I thought that it was going to be easy. If life didn't play unfair, it just might have been. Yes college is hard, but it certainly would have been a lot easier to maintain my GPA. Sure I felt invincible, but I also was just not prepared for life. After having the flu, and almost getting pnmonia has taught me that I need to take better care of myself. When I came back to school, it was a struggle and still is.

This last quarter in English 97, besides the latest obstacles, has been a great experience for me. It, strangely enough, was an out-let for me when I could not find the words to speak. I was able to write what I felt on paper. I am really happy with the choices I have made to put in my E-portfolio. It shows my progress that I have made, shows my voice, and even the range of types of writing I can do. The whole experience in this quarter has taught me that I can't procrastinate and I need to be aware of my needs, health, and speak to the teacher when I desperately need to. I have realized that I can not give up.

As I wrote each assignment, I was able to see life in a different way. English in the past, was never my strongest subject. I was able to talk about the things I truly cared about, and I actually learned something. The pieces that I have chosen reflect life and things that go with it, and hopefully you will enjoy them. I feel that English 97 has fully prepared me for the schooling to come. It has showed me confidence I never knew I had.

I suppose my point in all this is to show that anyone can overcome life's mud pies. Whether it may be coming back to school after years of avoidance, becoming a functional adult, or beginning to realize that your human and you should never give up you can do it! Don't just give up to any struggle (I think I'm trying to convince myself this, too. I can't give up.). Life may change in an instant, but you can curtianly push on forward.

Introduction to Never Alone

For this piece, I chose blog #3 (Never Alone). In this blog, I wanted to pick a son that most everybody could relate to. It's about loneliness. I'm sure everybody deals with loneliness. We struggle to have the faith that we are not alone in this world. Even though I know that God is there, at times it is hard to belive that I am not alone in this journey to my purpose. Whether you believe in God or not, the purpose of this post is to show that you're not alone in this "fight." No matter what you believe, God is always there waiting. A strength as a writer in this blog is I feel that I was able to interpet what the singer was trying to say: "This song expresses the pain and confusion that she is going through. Loneliness is something we all experience, and this song I feel, portrays it quite well. The song is saying that even though it feels like the end, you still need to hold on and not give up." I hope you enjoy reading his chosen peice. Thank you.

Introduction to Earnest and Petunia

For writer's choice, I chose "Earnest and Petunia." The assignment was to take a few given lines of dialouge and create our own story. As you read it, you may wonder why I chose it. Sure it's a silly story, but humor can be a strength as well: "Thier marriage lasted untill Petunia died in a garde accident." I had written this assignment about mid-quarter. I feel my silly personality and my voice shines through in this "interesting" peice. It may not make alot of sense, but I really enjoyed writing it. I hope that you enjoy it, too.

Introduction to She Felt She Had to Say Goodbye

About mid-quarter, we had a Major Writing Assignment. We had to write a descriptive narrative about a non-fictional person, place or thing. The MWA that I chose to post was "She Felt She Had to Say Goodbye." I feel that my voice and the moments shine through and it shows my ability to write well: "Frozen in her body, cries and moans were all that seem to come from her. Her eyes were filled with so much pain, crying for help; however, each time we reached out for her hand, it wasn't there. She no longer wanted to hold on." I chose to write about my friend's mother's suicide that happened last August 26th. Sure it's a sad story, but it actually helped me heal some. I hope you enjoy reading it even though it's sad. Thank you.

Introduction to My Blissful Morning Escape

I chose this piece because I feel it shows that I am a good writer. It's an earlier piece, so it shows you my progress in my later pieces. The assignment was to write a descriptive paragraph about a non-fictional person, place, or thing. I chose to write about the third floor of the Everett Station. After reading this particular descriptive piece, you are able to see my growth in writing. Even though it is an earlier piece, it shows my ability to write well: "The soft hum of laughter and casual conversation finds it's way up to my quiet escape." In every piece, I have written in this class, I tried to let my humor and silly personality show: "This blissful escape hides me from the creeps on the first floor, who walk with false confidence and lame pick-up lines." I really hope you enjoy this piece as well.

My Blissful Morning Escape

Each weekday morning, I find my escape on the third floor of the Everett Station. The Everett Station is a multipurpose station. It serves as a train station, bus station, and Greyhound station. The only way to get to this quiet oasis is by elevator. My escape is found on the blissful third floor. On the third floor, I am away from the morning hustle on the first and second floors. At my quiet escape, I am able to study and review for my classes of the coming day. The peaceful environment allows me to easily concentrate. The staff on the third floor doesn’t mind that my friends and I gather in my corner overlooking the tracks. And the warmth of the station lets me briefly forget about the cold awaiting me outside. With clear blue skies, the rays of the silvery sunrise bounces off every lightly-colored wall and off the beige-colored carpet. The glass windows capture the warmth, which surrounds you with its warmth. The light of the morning makes this escape welcoming and relieving. When it rains, the rain taps gently on the glass windows. The tapping is reflective and relaxing. The soft hum of laughter and casual conversation finds its way up to my quiet escape. This is the perfect place for people searching for serenity in the morning hustle. This blissful escape hides me from the creeps on the first floor who walk with false confidence and lame pick-up lines. With the wide view, the glass wall gives me a different perspective on Everett. Each morning, I am grateful I found my morning escape.

She Felt She Had to Say Goodbye

A life is a very precious thing, yet some are left unnoticed; they should be celebrated and remembered. On August 26th I realized this myself. Sometimes we want to put any warning signs behind us or we may tell ourselves, “It doesn’t exist.” My friend’s mother was one of those people who were forgotten. That unforgettable day reminded me why I want to work with these forgotten lives. This is for Loretta.

Loretta was such a wonderful person. Wherever she was, her eyes and smile would light up the room on even the darkest day. However, she was trapped in a world of pain. Probably a lot more pain than I was aware of. John, her husband, was verbally abusive and there could be much more than I know. She didn’t know how to get out, but she didn’t want to leave this prison. Loretta was afraid to leave and thought that this was all she deserved. She also hated conflict and tried her hardest to keep her home as comfortable and quiet as she could. She was afraid that her husband would snap. Loretta always wanted the best for June, her daughter, Kirsten, my best friend, and me. She was faithful to all she knew, and her love never seemed to run dry. She was faithful to God and dedicated her whole life to her daughter, June. Sure she cared for Kirsten and I, but she always wanted the best for June.

Before August 26th, we did see the signs, but she had already had begun to give up within herself. Kirsten and I begun to see these signs one visit over at Loretta’s house. “Shell’s got a place to stay,” Kirsten said to Loretta one-day. Loretta continued to blankly stare at the television. “Hello? Aren’t you happy that Shell’s going to be okay?” Kirsten gripped the arm of the couch as she tried to find the happy glint in Loretta’s eye. Loretta slowly turned her head and just stared at us. She no longer cared. Frozen in her body, cries and moans were all that seemed to come from her. Her eyes were filled with such pain, crying for help, but each time we reach out for her hand, it wasn’t there. She no longer wanted to hold on.

Before I knew it, that dreadful day was hanging over my head. My life changed in just one phone call. “Shell, Loretta’s dead,” Kirsten’s father’s voice seemed to be unreal as I fell helplessly into the seat. I gripped the phone harder, feeling that it would somehow support me. “June found her after she woke up,” he continued.

“What?” I struggled to let the words out. She had committed suicide. She actually did it. Tears started to find their way out of the corners of my eyes.

“June is here over at our house,” he continued, “so as soon as you can, maybe you could come over for her.” Now it was my life that came crashing down. The phone had become a part of me. That day was when “If only” meant something more to me. “Why’s” were the inhabitants of my head. I know why she did; however, there are still questions on “why” she had to give up.

“Oh God,” I whispered to myself. This day is one memory that I wish my mind would forget.

When she started to fade into herself and lose any care she had for herself, life, hope, and God I knew something was wrong. She was convinced that the only way to help her daughter was to choose to lose her life. She felt like God had forgotten her, and no one could ever understand. Life all around her seemed to crash down every turn she made. The love of her life choose to leave, her daughter had to work late-night to early morning to support both herself and Loretta. Her very world, her fantasy had crumbled before her eyes. Even though I know why she committed suicide, there are still the questions that wiggle their way from the back of my mind.
Her funeral was held at my church, with a small gathering of people. Though, it was filled with people who loved her and dearly missed her. It had a morbid sweetness to it, and was a peaceful closing to a wonderful, compassionate woman’s life. We will miss her dearly and she will never be forgotten.

“How’s my snowflake today?” she would say. It’s a greeting I truly miss. It’s weird, but I can still hear her laughter at times. It was loud with an accidental snort. The snort would just make Kirsten, Loretta and I laugh even harder. I suppose I’m still mourning, but each day I grow stronger. I wish I could have seen the signs sooner. Maybe I could have said curtain things; These thoughts use to dominate my head.

Even though it was a very painful day, it has prepared me for the purpose destined for me. That day gives me more of a reason to pursue becoming a Youth pastor to reach out to youth with suicidal thoughts and reaching my Psychology goal. August 26th was an awakening to my eyes.

Petunia And Earnest

Petunia sat quietly in her garden patiently waiting for Earnest. She sat there slowly sipping her tea. “Hi Petunia,” said Earnest as he touched her shoulder. “Sorry I’m late,” He added. She just stared forward.

“Hi Earnest,” she finally spoke. “You’re late again,” she continued.

“I know, and I am very sorry,” pleaded Earnest. “By the way, you have a very nice hat.”

“Thanks,” replied Petunia, “but don’t think you can make-up for being late with a compliment.” Petunia went on, “Let’s just have our tea!”

“Of course dear,” replied Earnest. They married two years later and had three beautiful children together. Their marriage lasted for 50 years and abruptly ended with Petunia’s death in a garden accident. Petunia was a very punctual person, so she found it hard to forgive Earnest for being late that one day. Yet she loved him anyway. Her heart beated to much for him to egnore. The end.

Never Alone

Never Alone

By BarlowGirl

I waited for you today

But you didn't show

No no no.

I needed you today

So where did you go?

You told me to call

Said you'd be there

And though I haven't seen you

Are you still there?

Chorus

I cried out with no reply

And I can't feel you by my side

So I'll hold tight to what I know

You're here and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see you

And I can't explain why

Such a deep reassurance

You've placed in my life.

We cannot separate

'Cause you're part of me.

And though you're invisible

I'll trust the unseen.

I chose this song, because I find that in the past and even now, that it is hard to believe that God is there. Sometimes it feels like I am on my own, as if He is not there helping me. Yet, I know that He is always there, even when it doesn't feel like He is there. I have to "trust the unseen." This song expresses the pain and confusion that she is going through. Loneliness is something we all experience, and this song I feel, portrays it quite well. The song is saying that even though it feels like the end, you still need to hold on and not give up.

Life will try to block you from God, and you may get distracted, and tell you lies that He is gone. This song is saying that even though life seems to tell you one thing, it's really the "other." You can't go off of your "feelings", sure listen to them, but go off of the TRUTH. You're not alone. If you cry out to God, and don't hear Him, just hold on to the truth that He IS there with you.

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